Christina Aguilera | I Am

I am timid and
I am oversensitive
I am a lioness
I am tired and defensive
You take me in your arms
And I fall into you
I have insecurities
You show me I am beautiful

Love me or leave me
Just take it or leave it
It’s not that I’m needy
Just need you to see me

Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

Mmmm…

I am temperamental and
I have imperfections and
I am emotional
I am unpredictable
I am naked
I am vulnerable
I am a woman
I am opening up to you

Love me or leave me
Just take it or leave it
It’s not that I’m needy
Just need you to see me

Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands
I’m asking you to take me just the way that I am
Please lay down your arms, do you know me?
Make me feel safe from harm

Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental and
I have imperfections and
I am emotional
There’ll be no more pretending

Mmhmm…

(Source: lokitabeauty)

The Love Yourself Challenge!: Accept your imperfection, love it, embrace it.

theloveyourselfchallenge:

Media is known for overpowering women of all ages with these images of idealized beauty. Skinny girls with long hair, big boobs, straight white teeth are in magazines, on television.. and yes sometimes even on our cereal boxes! All this over exposure to fake beauty leaves us with the sense…

(via theloveyourselfchallenge)

“My persuasion can build a nation. Endless power, with our love we can devour.”

thegifstoree:

;)

(Source: phenomenalpeacheater, via blondexambition)

Yes Means Yes

Very recently, I bought a book called Yes Means Yes by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti. The book is compiled of a collection of essays which touch on rape and how it is enabled in our society, as well as essays which encourage sexual empowerment of both men and women. The idea being that the more empowered and comfortable about your sexuality you are, the more willing you’re going to be to stand up for what’s best for you; a fact that I cannot possibly agree with more. Though, I will admit, I haven’t gotten very far in, it already has me thinking about the society we are currently living in. More so, about the things we are taught about rape, and how they barely scratch the surface.

As girls, we are taught that the way we act contributes to the way we are perceived. Which, to an extent, is quite true. It is human nature to judge books by their covers, so to speak, basing initial opinions on what we see, because we haven’t yet been able to hear. It takes time and effort to get to know someone, so we base the worth of that time on our first impressions. So if we dress a certain way, or speak a certain way, that’s automatically what we are.

What I’ve been taught of rape is very slim. In fact, most of the things I’ve learned about rape have been through media outlets or personal experience, as opposed to from someone I trust; a teacher, a family member, any adult responsible for my well being. And, as far as I can remember, the responsibility of not being raped has fallen on the victim alone. You are told not to wear skirts that are too short, tops that are too low cut, not to wear make-up that might suggest the wrong idea. You are told to compose yourself in a certain manner so that you do not suggest anything undesirable. While you are being told this, you are also being told that any woman who dresses a little too sexy, who flirts, or acts provocatively, or has a drink with someone she’s just met, deserves whatever she is handed. Girls who are promiscuous could, in turn, never actually be raped. Because they enjoy sex, they must want it from anyone and everyone, without a right to choice. But what could be said of anyone lacking those traits? Why is it more acceptable to look away if the victim is putting themselves out there?

There are several different types of rape, which expand way beyond the “no means no” approach which we are generally taught. Anyone you know can be a victim, anyone you know can be a predator. And while I believe it is good to learn how to be cautious, to protect yourself in any given situation, I believe it is also important to learn how to respect another person’s boundaries. Never assume you know what a person likes, or what a person is going to want from you. Also, respect yourself enough to know your boundaries, and assert them without fear of judgement. You, as a human being, are allowed to enjoy sex, to be promiscuous if you choose, and to also be safe as well. You are also allowed to refuse sex to anyone if you do not feel comfortable, or feel it is right. Even if you are a prostitute, having sex for a living, you have a right to the word “no.” You do not have to carry a license or a certificate to have the right to say “no.” That is a right given to you from the day you are born, no matter your race, ethnicity, sex, age, social stature, or sexual orientation. You have a right to a healthy sexuality, a healthy life, no matter who is trying to take it in their hands.

The boundaries that are put on rape are outrageous. The things you have to go through when you are raped to get justice are even more so. Too often, fear keeps you silent, because you are afraid of the stigmas that come with being raped; of the burden. Let me tell you, it’s heavy. In the long haul, staying silent is so much worse than having it out. You feel alone, and you never quite feel clean. With enough time, it doesn’t feel like it happened to you, and you’re able to keep your head up. Then, it comes back when you least expect it, and it rips you open all over again. No matter how many times you ask yourself, “Why me?” or go through the things you could have done different, you’ll never have the answers. Nobody will know what to tell you either. You hesitate the first time somebody wants to touch you, and maybe the next couple of times after that. You have a break down every time you go farther than you meant to, every time someone decides they don’t want you after. It will all make it feel like it’s happening all over again. I say this in general, I say this as an example. This may never be you, and I hope to God that it is not, but this, this is me. This is my life since I was twelve. It does get better, and you learn to be stronger, but it’s never the same. You never feel the same about anything. You don’t trust the same, or love the same, or live the same, and you come out with a very different view of yourself. Not just initially, but every time you choose to look back. And I kept my mouth shut. I dealt with it any way I could, because I was told that I wasn’t worth anything. I was told that, because of how I looked, of who I was, I would not be believed. Instead of speaking, I listened, and that will forever be my greatest mistake.

I am very grateful for the things I have learned from my experience, though. Without this, I’m not sure I’d be able to understand the power and the importance of choice, of consent. It’s truly amazing how much control we can have of ourselves, and how often we let others take that away from us. That knowledge has explicated to many other aspects of my life. If we let others decide what we are, and what we aren’t, if we let them tell us who we are, then we will never be anything else. Having a voice means so much more than anyone can really comprehend. Using a single word can change the route of a chain of events. All it takes is courage and determination, and knowing yourself is the best way to find either of those.

Empowerment is about self respect, and self respect gives you the control to be anything you choose. Find your worth, and never be afraid to hold it in the palm of your hand.

I encourage you to check out Yes Means Yes, as well as the book Laid edited by Shannon T. Boodram. Also, do some exploring on The Consensual Project at:

http://www.theconsensualproject.com/?int=close

That’s all I have to say for now. Although, I’m sure we’ll touch on the subject again sometime in the future. If you have any questions, or anything you would like to talk about, you know where to find me.

<33 Kristin

“My mother was and is so strong and fearless. I didn’t know any other way to be. I didn’t know that there were women who were afraid to speak their mind, who lacked confidence and self esteem. I’m proud to write songs that give women a voice. It makes me feel like my purpose is deeper, and because of that, I’m going to continue to create songs that give women strength.”

Car Accident: 9/3/2011, delay in posting.

It was my turn to update with something last night, but yesterday didn’t go as planned. The day was great; I got to spend the entire day with my family and then skype with my uncle who had a stroke last weekend. He’s rocking a Santa Claus beard, and for having a stroke, pretty much looks like a super hero. Aside from lack of muscle control on the left side of his body and a bit of slurred speech, you might not notice anything wrong with him at all.

However, on our way home from my aunt’s house last night we took a different route than normal, just enjoying the time we were spending together.

We came to an intersection with an SUV in front of us, and no one right behind us. As we sat at the intersection, a little girl was with her mom and brother. I noticed the girl seemed to be off in her own world, right as she darted out into the lane and the car in front of us had to snap on its breaks to keep from hitting her. We followed suit, no problems. Until less than five seconds later, a van crashed into us from behind.

Immediately I had a panic attack; I was shaking uncontrollably, tears in my eyes and hyperventilating. I called my aunt since we were still in her city, she called 911 since my reception was terrible. And then to keep from puking in the car, I go out and sat on the sidewalk. My mom got out of the car just as the van that hit us tried speeding off.

Long story short, the guy who hit us was 15 with a learner’s permit… and at the time he hit us, he was looking at a map to find his way to basketball practice. There was no damage done to the cars, and my brother got off without a single pain.

My mother is sore, swollen, and miserable.

I’m bruised across my ribs and stomach, my ankles are swollen, everything is sore and hard to move, and I’m suffering from nausea and stomach pain. I also really messed up my left hand. Typing this is basically torture; even texting on my phone hurts beyond measure.

I’ve been in bed all day, drinking tea and taking pain meds/muscle relaxers. I finally ate about an hour ago.. and then promptly got sick. But like I said, I’m keeping myself hydrated. If I’m not feeling any better tomorrow, I am going to go to Emergency and get checked out. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but my toes are starting to tingle and go numb, and my mom thinks I may have some form of nerve damage from the accident.

I just wanted to let you all know what was going on, in case my absence is longer than just a day or two. And I know Kristin will keep everyone updated in case something more serious happens.

But hopefully things will be in much better order tomorrow, and I will be able to share the blog on body image and self love I’ve been planning out in my head for the last two days! 

I hope you’re all well!

xx, Molly